


Mental Notes Love Rocks. Seriously.

by ScotlandEvander



Series: Over the Rainbow [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Gillyweed, M/M, Realization, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 13:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotlandEvander/pseuds/ScotlandEvander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was very important. Sirius knew this as much as he knew he was always going to be Sirius.</p><p>Seriously. </p><p>For the first time in six years, Sirius had managed to get Remus to voice all the thoughts he was having in his head those times when he fell silent and put on Think Face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mental Notes Love Rocks. Seriously.

**Disclaimer: If you know it, I fail to own it.**

* * *

At the same moment his younger brother was snogging the love of his life for the first time on the other side of the castle, Sirius Black’s head was in Remus Lupin’s lap and he, Remus Lupin, was babbling about rocks. 

Sirius had started the conversation, not actually being serious. Well, he was Sirius. He was ALWAYS Sirius. No matter how he tried not to be. But, he wasn’t serious when he started talking about rocks. He was struggling under the influence of Gillyweed (smoked, not eaten). It was almost impossible to get a coherent thought together in order to get his point across. 

Celebrating James’ seventeenth birthday had seemed like a brilliant thing to produce his huge supply of dried Gillyweed he’d stolen out of the stocks over the years, but now he almost wished he’d not smoked so much. If he hadn’t gotten so high, he’d be able to pay attention to all the random thoughts a sober Remus Lupin was now discussing. 

It was very important. Sirius knew this as much as he knew he was always going to be Sirius. 

Seriously. 

For the first time in six years, Sirius had managed to get Remus to voice all the thoughts he was having in his head those times when he fell silent and put on Think Face. 

Only, Remus was carding his long fingers through Sirius’ hair and it was so distracting. It felt good. Like more good than Sirius had ever imagined. Remus had strong fingers (side effect of being a werewolf) and blunt nails. Girls had weak fingers and nails. Sirius always thought he liked nails, but now that he had Remus’ fingers in his hair, scratching him behind the ear he no longer liked nails. 

Or maybe he just liked Remus and his fingers? 

No, no. Not that way. Sirius just liked the fingers. If he could detach them from Remus, he’d still like them.

NO!

Then they wouldn’t work. They had to be attached to Remus. 

He liked Remus and his fingers. 

Rocks. Sirius needed to talk about rocks. He’d brought it up. He should say something witty. Charming. Something good. 

“Rocks,” Sirius announced. “They are hard, cold and not alive. You can’t get them to talk. Like you. You’re a rock.”

That was stupid.

“I am talking right now, Sirius,” Remus said. “Have been for quite some time.”

_Mental note: Do not get high if you want to have intelligent conversations._

_Another mental note: Do not get high if you want to search your heart for your true feelings. All you will hear is Atlanta telling Regulus you’re in love with Remus. You are not in love with Remus._

_Mental note: Stop making mental notes with yourself._

“You think too much. Atlanta thinks the same way you do. Only she talks. I think Regulus loves her,” Sirius babbled. “I make mental notes in my head.”

He rolled onto his back so he could look up at Remus. They were seated on the roof. They had been stargazing, but at some point they stopped. 

_Mental note: Do more stargazing._

Sirius needed a quill to write these brilliant mental notes down. 

James and Peter went away. Not that Sirius minded. He gazed up at Remus, into the honey colored eyes. Only, they were dark tonight, as it was dark outside. Sirius couldn’t make out the array of colors that lived in those strange colored eyes. 

“He gets this sort of dopy look about him.”

“He does love her,” Remus said, his hand falling to his side. 

Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and stuck it in his hair again. “How can you tell?”

Remus shrugged, tangling his fingers in Sirius’s hair. It felt so good. 

_Mental note: Have Remus give head rubs more often._

That sounded wrong. 

“Tell me.”

“I’m not sure exactly. It is clear he cares deeply for her. He’s changed this past year. He smiles and he stood up for himself a few times.”

“So he doesn’t need a protector?”

“No. I think Regulus is always going to need a protector till he realizes he can be brave,” Remus admitted. 

“Brave? Are you saying he’s not brave?”

Sirius was mad at Remus now. His brother was brave. He as a Black!

_Mental Note: Explain what being a Black means to Remus at a later date._

“I think he has the capacity to be brave. He doesn’t realize it, though,” Remus admitted. “I don’t think he ever thought he’d fall in love. He seemed surprised.”

“You talk a like a girl,” Sirius giggled.

Remus let out a painful sigh, his hand dropping from Sirius’s head. Sirius reached back and tried to find Remus’ hand. 

“I don’t speak like a girl. I speak intelligently. Unlike someone else here,” Remus snapped.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Moony. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Girls say smart things,” Sirius said, rolling over to find Remus’ missing hand. “Where is your hand?”

“Attached to my arm,” Remus supplied. 

Sirius gave up and landed face first in Remus’s lap. “I want your hand.”

Remus slapped Sirius on the back of the head, then picked him up by his hair. It hurt, but for some reason Sirius couldn’t make himself care. 

“I don’t need your face in my lap.”

“I need your hand.”

“You have two of your own.”

“But they’re not your hands. I like your hands,” Sirius whined. “I like your hands a lot. They are man hands. I like man hands.”

Remus made a noise through his nose and rolled his eyes. Pushing Sirius off, Remus stood up and brushed himself off. Sirius crumbled into a heap on the roof. It was not comfortable. There were rocks. Little, annoying rocks. 

“Let’s go inside. I should check on James and Peter,” Remus said, looking towards the open window they’d crawled out earlier.

“I don’t wanna. It’s no fair. Your stupid werewolf metabolism,” Sirius muttered, rolling onto his back and staring at the inky sky above his head. He noticed, rather sappily, he missed having Remus under him and nearby.

Remus didn’t answer, but crawled back into the classroom they’d used for their impromptu to party. A minute later, Remus crawled back out and sat down next to Sirius’ head. 

“They are out cold,” Remus announced. “There is no way I am carrying those two back to the dormitory.”

Remus crossed his arms and pouted. Sirius found it highly enduring. He reached up and flicked Remus’s bottom lip. Remus glared down at him for a moment before giving up and dragging Sirius to him and plopping Sirius’ head into his lap.

Sirius grinned.

The hands began to card through Sirius’s hair again. Sirius wanted to talk, wanted to crawl inside the ever thinking, ever working head of Remus John Lupin, but his train of thought escaped him and he wound up thinking about love.

“How do you fall in love?” Sirius asked. 

“No clue.”

“I thought you had all the answers.”

“No. Tragically, I do not.”

“How did you know Regulus fell in love?”

“It was in his eyes one night when I was working with Addy in the library. It was a very mundane moment and I happened to glance over at him and saw his eyes. His eyes had a sparkle to them. He also goes off like a light bulb when she sits down next to him.”

“Does she love him?”

“Yes.”

“Jealous?”

“Of Reggie? No.”

“You two call her Addy. Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought Lanta was somewhat silly. One day…I was staring at her name as she’d written it out on her essay. I asked her if she ever went by AD, to which she said no. She said someone she used to know used to call her Addy, though. I liked it.”

“Oh. She got mad at me when I called her that. Reggie calls her that, though. Are you jealous?”

“Of Reggie, no. I don’t like her that way.”

“Me either. She’s not— ” 

Sirius came to a halt. His heart sped up, his stomach dropped and the nerves in his feet tingled. He blinked a few times, almost clearing the foggy high he’d been working for the past hour away. Suddenly, things were crystal clear, perfect. 

Sirius was in fact in love with Remus Lupin. 

He was a poofer. 

Just like Atlanta had said. 

He had almost about told Remus the reason he didn’t like Atlanta and wasn’t jealous of his brother was due to the fact he was in love with Remus John Lupin. 

When had this happened? 

“She’s not who? Who is the lucky lady Sirius Black currently has a massive fixation on?” Remus asked, keeping his voice light. 

Sirius didn’t answer. 

“Sirius?”

Sirius still did not answer, panic welling through him. He began to go over the last six years of his life and realized something major: Sirius Orion Black had always been in love with Remus John Lupin. 

Sirius had simply failed to notice. 

 _Mental Note: Notice when you’ve been in love with your best friend for the last six years give or take. Plonker._  

Who did he go to when he had a bad dream? 

Remus.

Who did he bother when he was unable to get to sleep at night?

Remus.

Who did he let see sides of him that he’d never allow anyone else to see? 

Remus.

Why did he feel so damn unfulfilled kissing girls? 

Because they failed to be Remus.

Sirius glanced at Remus’ lips and felt heat rise in his cheeks. He quickly looked away. 

Suddenly, the reason he didn’t understand James’ obsession with Lily Evans made sense. Sirius had never understood why James went after the girl like he did. Never did Sirius understand why James moaned he loved Evans. Sirius didn’t get why James turned to a pile of mush in the girl’s presence.

James loved Lily, only she was Evans so she yelled a lot. 

Was Sirius Black broken? He couldn’t be in love with his best friend. That…that wasn’t….no. 

He needed more information on this love thing. 

OH! Reggie!

Regulus had a different sort of relationship with Atlanta. Atlanta didn’t all out hate him. Atlanta never hexed Regulus either when he spoke to her like Evans tended to do with James. Regulus fell in love with Atlanta and there was none of the childishness, none of the yelling, but he did seem to turn to a pile of mush sometimes in front of Atlanta. Sirius had noticed that dopy look about his brother. 

Sirius heard Remus sigh and his head hit the wall behind them. Sirius was in the mists of trying to remember all his previous mental notes when he noticed Remus’ breathing deepened. He’d fallen asleep sitting up, leaning against the side of the castle on the roof. Sirius shifted himself a bit. 

He stared at Remus in the darkness, the only light coming from the lit classroom windows on either side of them. 

Yup. 

He was in love with Remus Lupin. Sirius was defiantly feeling slightly mush like. And it wasn’t because Atlanta Dorothy Black had put idea into his head. He’d come to the conclusion without thinking about anything she’d said. Okay, he thought about it a little. But any of those times she’d made those odd remarks about the fact Remus was not in love with Sirius had not been the reasoning for him falling in love with Remus. Nor did her comments that he was in love with Remus and failed to know it. 

The first few months he’d heard these comments, he’d been upset, mad even. Not any more.

He knew now. 

Sirius liked Remus.

No. Sirius loved Remus. 

A lot. 

_Mental note: Talk more about rocks tomorrow. Seriously._


End file.
